“We originally thought that young people would use Facebook and digital communication to stage-manage their lives,” said Wardle. That wasn’t the case. Candid messages are thrown into the digital ether without regard for their permanence or the number of eyeballs that can scrutinize them. “They found it much easier to articulate how they felt to each other honestly when they weren’t in the same room,” he said.

Not-so-secret lives on smartphones : Columbia Journalism Review

One of the rewards of more cooperation—and sometimes conflict—is that people are happier. In a clumsy, slow-moving organization, people become frustrated and disengaged because their work has no impact. Ironically, when you let conflict happen and sometimes encourage it, people get angry and fight with each other—and that makes them happier, because in the end they did difficult, important work that made a difference.

The surprising secret of happier, more productive organizations: conflict – Quartz

Carrozza has been doing prenuptial agreements for 10 years and only in recent months has she seen couples interested in including a social media clause. Carrozza said she does five so-called “love contracts,” or lifestyle provisions in prenups or post-nuptial agreements, per week and started offering social media clauses for those negotiations about two months ago. In that time, she said, about a third of her clients have been interested in having such a clause in writing. “It’s a huge issue because we all know this stuff, once it’s out there, you can’t shake it,” Carrozza said. “It can be humiliating. It can be painful. … It’s really no joke, and I expect this clause to become much more important with any of the other contracts.” A typical social media clause will state that couples can’t post nude photos, embarrassing photos or photos or posts that are likely to harm a spouse’s professional reputation, Carrozza said. Her clients don’t pick and choose between what’s acceptable for Facebook versus Instagram, but do more of a blanket provision for all social media. “There might be a bathing suit photo that might be particularly embarrassing,” Carrozza said. “Posting that would have to be cleared.”

I Love You, You’re Perfect, but Watch What You Facebook: Social Media Prenups - ABC News

My Librarian takes a big step toward humanizing the online library experience. It could also give the library a tactical advantage over online booksellers like Amazon.

The Oregonian reports on My Librarian, the coolest development in online readers’ advisory I’ve heard in ages, and at a Cloud Library, Multnomah County Library. 

From the story, which you should read from top to bottom:

My Librarian [is] an online tool that lets readers connect with a real-life librarian, without actually visiting a library branch. Instead, readers can build a relationship with one of 13 librarians through video chats, blogs and phone calls to discuss their favorite books.

(via cloudunbound)

Ugh, I am sick with jealousy over how AMAZING this is.

(via bookavore)

Multcolib was my first library, and I will miss it all my life. 

(via kellymce)

(via libralthinking)

You don’t begin a marriage by walking through a metal detector with two lawyers. Nor do I believe that you should end a marriage that way.

Now You Can File For Divorce Online With Wevorce, The H&R Block Of Nasty Breakups

Today not only can you find the love of your life online—now you can also divorce them.

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(via fastcompany)

(via fastcompany)

The ability to reach everyone I know in one place is no longer a novelty. We don’t want to see daily updates from everyone we meet in perpetuity.

Facebook’s friend problem | The Verge

Ellis Hamburger on why the social network can’t adapt to how we make (and lose) friends

(via thisistheverge)

(via thisistheverge)

The data reveals a clear pattern: People are interested in people like themselves. Women on eHarmony favor men who are similar not just in obvious ways — age, attractiveness, education, income — but also in less apparent ones, such as creativity. Even when eHarmony includes a quirky data point — like how many pictures are included in a user’s profile — women are more likely to message men similar to themselves. In fact, of the 102 traits in the data set, there was not one for which women were more likely to contact men with opposite traits. Men were a little more open-minded. For 80 percent of traits, they were more willing to message those different from them. They still preferred mates who were similar in terms of height or attractiveness, but they cared less about these traits — and they didn’t care much at all about other things women cared about, like similarity in education level or number of photos taken. They cared less about whether their match shared their ethnicity.

In the End, People May Really Just Want to Date Themselves | FiveThirtyEight

Inaccurate data is a problem because it can lead to unsuitable matches, so some dating agencies are exploring ways to supplement user-provided data with that gathered from other sources. With users’ permission, dating services could access vast amounts of data from sources including their browser and search histories, film-viewing habits from services such as Netflix and Lovefilm, and purchase histories from online shops like Amazon.

BBC News - Is big data dating the key to long-lasting romance?

Authenticity on the web is a slippery idea. Deep down we all want it (that’s human nature!), but earnestness on social media isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s embarrassing. Sites like Facebook and Twitter have conditioned us to believe that we deserve to be listened to—not just by our family and intimate circle of confidants, but also by the 900 “friends” we have on Facebook. The things we share tend to be superficial, impersonal and self-promotional. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I’d argue that’s the way it should be. Those 900 friends on Facebook aren’t our therapists, so there’s no reason we should act like they are. But Bader and Byttow like to believe there’s a place for a more authentic web, and they hope Secret will give rise to it. In this imagined digital utopia, snark will be replaced with self-awareness and kindness. Under a thin veil of anonymity, people will be able to say what’s on their mind no matter how cheesy, horrifying or lame it might be.

Secrecy Is the Key to the Next Phase of Social Networking | Wired Design | Wired.com

Thirty-one percent of respondents’ most recent first dates stemmed from an online connection. It edged out meeting through a friend for the first time ever. Friend-of-a-friend connections accounted for 25 percent of first dates. Meeting through work came in third place, with 8 percent of singles getting dates that way, while meeting at a bar came in last with 6 percent. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and chief scientific advisor for Match.com, confirmed to Betabeat that this is the first year online dating beat out any other way of clinching a first date.

It’s Official: Online Dating Now Responsible For Majority Of First Dates - Yahoo News